One Sunshine Moment that happened this week happened yesterday. We were walking from our eating appointent to our next lesson. We spoke with everyone we saw on the way but not many people were out or wanted to stop because it was so cold. So Sister Neukomm and I started singing. (This is one way that we thought we could keep better harmony in our companionship, and it is helping.) We sang all the German Hymns that I've memorized and were onto the Primary songs when we were crossing an empty field when on the other side a man who was about to go into his apartment stopped and waited. We stopped singing when we were getting closer to him so we could talk to him, but he talked to us first. He complimented our singing and asked why we were walking in the cold. We were able to then explain who we were and what we do. He said he would like a copy of the Book of Mormon and we made an appointment out for Wednesday. It was a good testimony builder to me that singing hymns really does invite the Spirit.
I don't really know why, but this week was really hard for me. Starting on Wednesday, feelings of inadequicy and doubt bombarded me. I really needed help and support this week, but when Sister Neukomm saw I wasn't doing very well she suggested calling President Kosak to ask for an emergency transfer. That hurt my feelings. It's now the 4th transfer I've been doing everything I can to help her and after 3 days of me asking for her help she wanted to leave. But I did find help from my District Leader, and Elder Riesen shared some scrptures that helped me (He is Sister Neukomm's cousin who is a Zone Leader here. He calls to check on Sister Neukomm a few times during the week and he gives me encouragement and says thank you), then reading scriptures on my own and lots and lots of praying. I re-learned something through my personal study; I can't compair. In Preach My Gospel chapter 1 it talks about not compairing ourselves with other missionaries and I added to mine I shouldn't compair other missionaries (or anyone) to me. Saying I've done this and this and this for Sister Neukomm and she's only done that is very bad. That is me being too prideful and I needed to humble myself a little more this week. Also President Kosak asked the whole mission to read the Book of Mormon through before Conference in April with a focus on the Holy Ghost and how He plays a role in conversion. I received a comfirmation that forgiveness is real. I read a talk in an old Liahona that said one sure sign that we have been forgiven is when we feel the presence of the Holy Ghost. I don't know why old regrets and doubt kept jumping to the front of my mind but I have been able to fight them back by remembering times I've been lead by the Spirit.
Saturday night I made new goals how to help myself be able to get rid of thoughts of doubt. I've seen that doubts are the quickest way to bring me down. I thought back to when Jesus was tempted by Satan. Satan kept saying "If Thou art the Son of God..." If. Satan tries tear down by bringing doubt. I was doubting I was a good missionary this week. One of my goals is singing more, saying more earnest prayers, rereading blessings (especially my Patriarchal Blessing) more often, and counting blessings. I've kept a miracle calendar where every night I write down the miracles I saw that day. On the days that I was feeling my worst, I didn't write any down. But when my District Leader, Elder Taylor, asked what miracles I'd seen, and I really had to think of them, I felt happier after! So I will not miss another day of my calender :] I also have a goal to develop more trust in myself, no more doubt! I do change Germany! I do help Sister Neukomm! Confidence! :] These next three weeks will be our best three weeks! She will go out with a bang!
Thank you for your confidence in me. I will keep doing my best.
My eye is all better and so is my ear. Yes I always remember my earmuffs now. The Ward stills sees to that. It's really funny how fast German Grannie Gossip spreads. There was another thing that everyone knew about me this week. (it really keeps me on my toes, I don't want something bad to go around) We had an eating appointment with the oldest couple in the Ward. The wife just turned 92. We got there and the table was pretty loaded with food and they told us all bowls and plates needed to be emptied. It wouldn't be hard for 4 people to do that. But then they didn't eat with us. It was all for the 2 of us. I thought I was going to pop. My favorite food here in Germany is Khlose, its a special Potato ball, like masked potaoes but more moist. It's hard to describe, I'll make it later so you can enjoy it too. Normally I can eat 4 and then I'm full. The Ward knows this is my favorite food, so this couple made some especially for us. They made 18 for the two of us. I ate 9 and could not even look at another one. Sis Neukomm ate 6. They were nice enough to pack th extra 3 so we could eat thm for dinner that night. So yesterday at church everyonewas teasing me about eating so many and jokes about how they will make sure I have a break from them for at least the next week. :]
I don't know why this week was hard when I do have so many people that love me. Both here in Germany, in America and on the other side of the veil. Stupid Satan. This week will be better!
Another Sunhine Moment was we were going to contact a referal one night but we couldn't find the address. While looking we saw someone on the street (it was schweine kalt so the fact that anyone was outside was a little crazy). He asked if we were Jehovah's Wtnesses. We said no we're from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Well, it turns out he is a JW and he started Bible Bashin us. At first I wanted to Bible Bash back at him but before I could open my mouth to do so, I felt I just needed to bear testimony. So I did. After my few sentance testimony, he totally changed. He softened and listened and we were able to give him a Book of Mormon. Pretty cool! The Church is true and the Holy Ghost is the teacher in it.
I hope you all have a wonderful week! I love you :]
Love,
Sister Walker
PS- for Trey, I've had a few people have that problem too and after doing all that you've done I just asked them if they believe in God. Do they believe He aswers questions we ask in prayer? If yes, then I told them they won't get an answer just sitting there. There needs to be action for answers to come. Come to Church on Sunday and ask after if it was right. Maybe you can try something like that.
PPS- Still no pictures, but next week! :]
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